“Nobody said it was easy, No one ever said it would be this hard.” -Coldplay, The Scientist. How true are their words? Right now I feel like my heart is breaking; like my soul is black and blue. My eyes are puffy and my tears are wet. I feel swollen, yet empty. The strangest of combinations. Love doesn’t seem to be enough and my faith feels lacking. I want to hold onto it, but cannot get a sturdy grasp. And the worse is yet to come.
“Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” -Ephesians 4:32
At first I wanted to say: “I wish it were that easy.” But then I realized that it is. This is God’s word, this is the Holy Spirit showing me what I already know to be true. Sometimes, it is difficult to forgive those that you love, because it hurts so much to even be upset with them. Sometimes it feels like there is a depth to your heart that you will never fully know, that is where the pain hides. In the crevices and around the corners. It hides within you, and that is why it is so hard to dig it out and become pure of soul. We may have our differences, but when you love someone that bond is forever. It may be hidden in the depths of your soul, but it is never erased. I know in my heart that I am supposed to forgive her and I will, because no matter what the wrongs were I can never stop loving her.
This song pretty much sums it up.
Has reached zero! So that is pathetic. But it is my own fault, I have been slacking with Tumblr. Please excuse me. Haha
Okay, so my coffee just slid off my next in the middle of class! It was extra embarrassing, but magically it did not spill. I mean at all! But it did make a loud noise, and I am told that my shocked faced was absolutely hilarious! Nevertheless, I feel very lucky.
So it is “Dead Week” here on campus which basically means I need to Study, Study, Study! That hasn’t been happening completely but today that must change. I have a rough draft of a paper due tomorrow. and also a Final (Even though it is for P.E.) I have to study for it! I need an A so that I can ACE the class! And then this weekend I have a take home Final for Philosophy. Which that is going to completely suck because I despise that class. I also have to study for my remaining two Finals which include HISTORY on Monday and JUDAISM on Thursday! And then I will be all done!
I cannot wait for break to start. Oh and p.s. I probably won’t be on here until Thursday! But you never know I might stop by for a quick update!
Love ya!
Oh I realized I forgot to add the video I promised! It’s called Big City Dreams. Here you go:
My fingers are so cold it makes it hard to type, but it is only appropriate for the beginnings of December weather. Currently I am watching the battery on my laptop spiral downwards while I stare at the giant and luminous full moon and fill my ears with the beautiful voice of my future husband Christofer Drew Ingle aka Nevershoutnever. Yup I am basically in love with him so check him out but don’t get any crazy ideas. Alright I am not serious, I really am not that insane but I do enjoy drowning my thoughts with his voice. This typing really isn’t making my fingers any warmer and I really should be getting ready for the WHS Girls Basketball game. But I have been enraptured by the night and cannot make myself leave. I have decided to stay out here until my computer tells me it won’t live anymore without being plugged in. Wow this kid is so captivating. Really check him out! I think I will attach a video to this post so I can expose you to him easily. Sitting on my porch and starring at the clear sky is definitely my definition of a nearly perfect evening. Oh and did I mention the holidayriffic Christmas lights lining the streets. I am proud to say that my house is contributing wonderfully, though unfinished. I love Christmas, definitely one of the greatest holidays ever invented. And it is not just about getting gifts. It is about the spirit of the seasons. The willingness of others to help out at all cost. The smiles. The smells. The lights. Everything about it is magical. But hey, my computer is yelling at me and I told myself I would go in when it did that. So night tumblr!
Today another tragedy occurred, probably one that just adds to the thousands around the world, but one in particular hits close to home. Four officers were shot and killed this morning near McChord Air force Base. They were sitting at a Forza coffee shop on Steele street; the same one I drive by everyday on my way to and from school. It just makes me so sad that someone could do such a thing. Just walk up to four strangers and basically execute them, just like it was nothing. What is the world coming to? I know stuff like this happens everyday. We have been ravaged by stories of the horror that this world has reached. Bombarded, in fact. So much so that we are almost numb to the tragedies. We start to think “how sad” and then go on with our day. Maybe throughout the day we will be struck with the thoughts of the families affected or of the incident itself but nothing ever seems to get done. And honestly, what can be done? Does anyone truly know. Officers, like those killed, fight these horrors of the world daily but it seems like we are struggling to cover up a never ending hole. It is a continuous struggle. It’s always one step forward two steps back. I wish so desperately to know how to fix the bleeding world but I am left with no answers. All I can do is pray and pray I will. May God bless all the families personally affected and the community that will surely feel this loss. After all it is just another tragedy added to the black hole but it is one that won’t be forgotten. Not anytime soon, if I can help it.
Tumblr World: This guy is amazing, at least in my opinion. Very adorable and talented. I basically want to marry him. So here I presented one of my favorite videos of his!
